Chariot of Tears

by Joanna

You are 3,000 miles and half an ocean away
A luscious rain drenches you on the regular
Sun ballooning on the horizon morning and night
While my hands crack in the dry cold
A chill that reminds me, each morning
Each night
That it was not my choice
But yours
That let out the drawbridge
Galloping away
In your chariot of tears
The destruction of self
Too heavy a burden to carry alongside me
Yet your journey
Has not led not to the renewal you had envisioned
Longing for freedom from an inescapable force
Lodged within
The truth that lies behind the lies and the deceit
The mask of illusion you wore for me
Pretending, I suppose
I was the one
Who was worthy of exchanging hearts
Even as you were preparing to drop the ax
For almost a year
I have been found drifting
Somewhere between daydream and nightmare
Thoughts rattled beneath numb emotions
Wrapped in sorrow
Cut from the binding cloth
Living the fantasy
With a different face
It makes me question my self
How do I still love the one who
Left me at the curb with only words
And a wooden apple box heart?